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Love Notes from My Husband (in wood)

LoveNotes JillAlexa.com

What is in your Treasure Chest?

Do you have One?

The #lovenotes I recall were from my husband when we were newly married. We would leave them in unusual places to see how long it would before it was found. It was a game we played. In these notes, we would often tell the other of small incidents which we experienced during that day.

Matthew was pedantic about the proper use of language but not quite as bad as my sister Gaye, who would mark any grammatical mistakes my mother might have made in her letters. The sad thing is, neither of these dear people have any idea of words or grammar now as they both have different forms of Brain Disease.

Love Notes to Clear the Air

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If we had been at odds with one another and wanted to make up, again this was easier done with a little love note. I loathe confrontation and I found this was the best way to defuse a situation.

Matt and I  knew each other a very short while before we married.  We had met when I was a young teenager, as Matthew’s best friend was my oldest sister’s boyfriend. There was no way I remembered that until he reminded me of that fact.

Writing these little #lovenotes was a way of getting to know one another better. Over the next 53 years we got to know each other very well indeed.

In my treasure chest I have many of the Valentine Cards, notes, Birthday Cards given to me by my husband. There is also the beautiful Poem Matthew wrote for me when I celebrated my 50th birthday.

He, with the help of a good friend, organized a surprise Birthday Party at the local Town Hall which was beautifully decorated and my friend had done all the catering. It was a wonderful occasion. One, I hope never to forget.

Increasing number of Love Notes

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My  treasure chest holds many other #lovenotes. These are from my children and my grandchildren. Over the years they have written letters when overseas or in the army doing their National Service.

There are delightful poems and stories written by my daughter when she was little. She loved writing and drawing.

As the family grows, so does the pile of treasures.

A Family United in Their Love of Writing

This writing gene has run through the family. My Aunt, Fay King Goldie was the author of many books and ran a school for Creative Writing.

She wrote under many pseudonyms as well as Fay King, Fay King Goldie and also Fay Goldie.

There were also a few male names but I don’t recall under which she wrote. It was quite usual at that time for women to write under a man’s name as they were often overlooked as women authors in days gone by.

Knowing my darling Fay as I did, I am pretty sure she have many #lovenotes and had also sent many. She was a real character. We children were not allowed to call her Aunt as it made her feel old.

Daphne Alexa Bennie (nee King), My talented Mother

My Mother was an author and wrote mainly Travelogues and articles on Gardening. She also spoke with authority, on both of these subjects,  on Womans World, which was a program aired on the radio for many years in South Africa.

Mom was also an avid and very good letter writer. Some of my grandchildren still have treasured letters from their Great Grandmother. They were always so pertinent and caring of the child s interests.

Our Five Senses, plus the extra one that only Women Have, that of intuition (ha,ha)

Some of us are fortunate to be born with these senses intact.

Of all the senses that are learned and not born with, it was the sense of true caring that my Mother taught me. She taught by example the gift of empathy when she would spend hours reading to Miss Lock who was blind. She wrote her letters for her and did her shopping and all sorts of other necessary chores which Miss Lock found difficult.

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That was only one example of the kindness my Mother shewed to others. I think that Mom’s wonderful caring capability came from the caring she did from an early age when her own Mother was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease. My Grandmother died when Mom was 16.

My Love Note to all reading this Post

If you have been blessed with all the God given senses, please value them. Use them to make this a better and happier world in which to live.

  • Hearing – Really listen to what is being said, be it to you directly or when you listen to the news. Don’t be ready to jump in with your point of view. Listen. Don’t switch the radio off because it is bad news. Listen. We need to really be aware of what is happening otherwise how can we help.

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Those who are hard of hearing are extremely lonely. Take time with them. I know it can be frustrating but show your sense of human kindness. Listen.

  • Seeing – Do you see things you aren’t happy about and just walk on by. My neice told me that when she lived in Paris, she was unwell and fainted on the sidewalk. No-one took the slightest bit of notice they just stepped right over her and kept on walking. Unbelievable, but true.  Think of ways in which you could help others who are struggling.

We, who can see are so blessed to wake up each day and see what the weather is like.  Have the ability to watch the clouds scud across the sky.  Enjoy the changing of the colours as autumn draws close.  See the tide rolling in and waves crashing onto the rocks. Be aware of an on-coming vehicle. Just think of what it must be like to miss all the wonders around you.

  • Smell – The wonderful sense of smell. Being able to smell the roast cooking or baking being done. Fresh mown grass. Wet earth after the first rains come when there has been a drought. Oh, the wonderful sense of smell. With this sense, we have the ability to evoke memories of our childhood with just one whiff of a certain scent.

I learned that people who suffer from Parkinsons Disease lose their sense of smell. It must be so of other Brain Diseases as I know that my husbands sense of smell left him years ago. How very sad.

  • Taste – Now who would like to lose that wonderful sense of taste. Not being able to enjoy a meal which has been prepared for you with loving care. Nor find treats delectable.

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  • Touch – What a lonely place to be without someone to hold your hand when you are feeling lost and alone.

I see the people in the Frail Care and my heart bleeds for them. So many have no visitors at all and those that do are so pleased when one of their loved one’s touches them. Their faces light up with joy.
How are we going to cope when it is our Mother or Father, grandparent or even ourselves looking up hopefully when someone enters the room.

Don’t be afraid to touch the elderly. They might look and be frail but it is touch they miss the most. I know because they have told me. It is truly heartbreaking.

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What can we do for others with the wonderful gifts we have been given?  We can change the world, one kind deed at a time.

Who is willing to take action? Are You?

 

 

 

Jill du Preez

Creative Entrepreneur ● Seamstress | Quilter | Artist | Published Author | Creative Promoter of Emerging Artists

32 Comments

  1. Beautiful writing and so true Jill….in this world where the human connection is being overtaken by technology……

  2. A treasure chest.What a wonderful idea.The writing reminds us what is important in life; mostly our memories and somebody to share them with. Keeping mementos of these memories will be reminders of our loved ones when we will be alone in the end.I think I will buy a treasure chest.Thank you for a beautiful article.

    • Hi Carlos, Am thrilled to hear that you are going to buy a Treasure Chest to keep your treasures in. It is wonderful to look through them. They evoke so many memories of the wonderful times you have had to be grateful for.

      Wishing you all the best,

      Jill

  3. You have written a very beautiful, touching, thoughtful article on an incredibly sensitive and important subject areas which both directly and indirectly affects all of us in our one time journey within life. It is very clear that your understanding on the subject matter of human health and the senses we take for granted is a very personal and experienced once. You express the importance of appreciating the loved ones around you by opening up personally, exposing yourself and giving the truth inside the experience of the subject matter to the reader without bias or negative context, and have worked very hard in expressing a difficult subject matter without causing a great deal of gloom and sadness in the reader by reflecting on the positive moments in your life. You have shown how people can relate to your personal experience whilst being highly informative of the subject matter. 

    Its is also apparently clear how important your message is, which is that we all have a responsibility for remembering and taking care of our elderly, and beyond that the elderly in general within our society. Your message is both touching and considerate and must be acknowledge for applause! 

    • Hi Shane, Your response to my post, moved me deeply. I didn’t think it would touch so many people. We all need to be loved and shown love.

      My good fortune was being brought up by two very loving and devoted parents who taught us empathy and Matthew’s parents were the same. Loving people. 

      Although my dear husband no longer recognizes me, I feel sure in his heart he knows who I am. We were very blessed to have such a long marriage and lots of laughter in our house.

      Wishing you all the very best,

      Jill

  4. What a beautiful post you’ve written. My 2 best friends (husband and wife) have left similar love notes to each other and I think that is such an awesome thing. They’ve done that pretty much since they first started dating which was many years ago. I’ve never been blessed with a wife as I’ve dreamed of doing something similar if I ever had one. Thanks for sharing this.

    • Hi Brian, Thank you for the lovely comments. Am so pleased that your friends also left little notes for one another. It became something we always looked forward you. Perhaps your future wife is just waiting around the corner for you. When you find her, you can begin the tradition for yourself.

      Wishing you all the best,

      Jill

  5. Hi Jill,

    Thanks so much for this inspiring and emotional post. You’re blessed to have your “treasurers” in the form of notes, cards, and poems that remind us of the human connections we’ve formed over the years. After serving as a caretaker for both of my parents for years, and sadly losing them both, I agree wholeheartedly that kindness can change the world. And, sometimes it is as simple as a touch. I hope you’ll continue to spread inspiration!

    • Hi Linda, Thank you so very much for your kind comments. What a privilege to have your parents with you and I am sure you must miss them very much. We also had my Mother and Father living with us and I miss them so much. 

      Now that Matthew doesn’t know who I am it feels very lonely but I have so many wonderful memories to remind me of the kind man he really is, even though I don’t understand him anymore. His heart is still the same.

      Best wishes,

      Jill

  6. I just love this post about the love notes, it really warms my heart.  It feels good to know that someone still do this sort of thing.  What a legacy for those who passed this down to generations to follow them. Actually writing something with pen and paper these days is almost a lost art.

    It is so good to know that we still have a lot of compassion and empathy in the world.  Sometimes it might not seem so, but when the chips are down the human spirit raises to the challenge.  As for touching someone, I can relate to it from personal experience.  Just a kind word, just to say hello how are you today can make a person’s day. 

    I saw a lengthy video on Twitter but I will be brief.  A woman on her way to work stopped in the ladies room where she encountered a homeless woman washing up.  She offered the homeless lady $10 and the money was refused several times.  The homeless lady finally explained that she would appreciate more to be shown courtesy and respect.  She would rather people just stop and have a conversation with her.  

    All the best to you and your family.

    Please remember to encourage someone today!

    Vanna Pearl   

    • Hi Vanna, How true that is. It is so much easier to just walk on by when we see a homeless person and not look them in the eye. I guess it makes us feel embarrassed that we have so much in comparison. It doesn’t take much to make someone else feel good about themselves.

      Thank you for reading and commenting on my post. I really do appreciate it.

      All the best,

      Jill

  7. Thank you for sharing such an intimate personal experience. Its a rare and special individual who can open up and risk being vulnerable in order to share such a genuine and personal experince. I think it was Oscar Wilde who said “The bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation”. Or the conversation we have in letters, emails or texts. 

    • Hi Mark, How true that it. Conversation with my husband is one of the things I miss the most. All I can do now is hold his hand and listen to his gibberish. He cannot make much sense anymore but I am sure although he does not recognize us, in his heart, we are still there.

      All the best,

      Jill

  8. A absolutely lovely article Jill…. your stories of your lovely marriage is touching. I do believe the key to a successful marriage is the ability to communicate well and you have a fantastic way of dong that.

    Your love note to readers is so very touching, it’s so very sad that the elderly miss the feeling of touch, i for sure do not think i will ever forget this.

    • Hi Dianne, You are so right, touch is very important. Now that I can no longer understand what my husband is trying to say, I just hold, or rub his hand and nod and agree with anything he tries to say. 

      He does not recognize us anymore, which is extremely sad. but he still smiles and sometimes even waves to anyone walking past in the ward.

      Am sure he can feel the love.

      Wishing you all the best,

      Jill

  9. Wow! I just imagine the feeling I would have when I see letters at the age of 50 , from my wife when we were still unmarried, it feels great. Just today I was looking at my wife’s photo that I took when we were still unmarried 7 years ago, I love that photo more than anything, its  really a treasure to me. Together with some valentine cards, those are the things I can say are in my Treasure Chest.  I just felt inspired reading about how you keep your notes, will definitely buy my wooden Treasure Chest in the near future.

     Thank you so much for such an inspiring article.

    Ngoni 

    • Hi Ngoni, Thank you for these lovely comments. Aren’t we lucky to have such happy memories of our loved ones. My husband lives in his own little world and does not recognize us anymore but I am sure in his heart he still knows us.

      Wishing you all the best,

      Jill

  10. Hello Jill, 

    Your article is indeed a ‘letter of love’ in itself. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and washing my thoughts in nostalgia. You are so right, love notes should be cherished and ‘immortalized’ if they can be.- you never know when the ‘author’ mightno longer be their to write more.

    And yes, the human senses. We sometimes take them for granted, thought your article is a great reminder for me.

    Thanks so much for caring and sharing how we can make a difference in the world we live.

    Namaste

    Michelle

    • Hi Michele, Thank you so much for commenting on my post. My poor dear husband does not know me and talks what my Doctor calls Matt’s Chinese but just to see him smile is lovely. We don’t know what he is smiling about but at least he looks happy and content.

      It is lovely to recall all the happy years we spent and the wonderful friends we have made over the 53 years of our marriage.

      With love,

      Jill

  11. Thank you, Jill for this heart warming article. There is so much to reflect upon and yes, we have to be reminded of what it is to be human.

    Getting in touch with our 5 senses is so important to become more aware of what is going on around us. I love to do that and by being quiet, listening to the sound of Mother Nature I will find balance and also will enhance my sensibility towards all living beings and towards myself.

    As a former Geriatric nurse I saw the extreme loneliness of many elderly people and how I could brighten their days with a smile, a touch or a kind word.

    • Hi Sylvia, Thank you so much for reading my post. How I admire you for the work you did as a Geriatric Nurse. It is such a difficult job as I know how frustrating it can be when someone just does not understand you.

      For me the sound of the early morning bird calls is so beautiful to hear and sets the day on the right track.

      Wishing you all the best and thank you for the lovely comments.

      All the best,

      Jill

  12. Hi, Jill!

    You have a great post here. The first thought that crosses my mind when I started to read was that great movie ˝ The notebook ˝.  I used to love leaving messages to my hubby at the house but nowadays all that is replaced with messages on mobile phones, tablets, iPads… I’m not saying that is a bad thing but it is not the same as a message written with your hand, with your own mark, if you know what I mean 🙂

    Best wishes!

    Barbara

    • Hi Barbara, I know exactly what you mean. I was very blessed that Matthew wrote such beautiful poetry. He was so pedantic about grammar and spelling and now he does not know who I am. How sad is that.

      Fortunately, I have these wonderful memories.

      Wishing you all the best,

      Jill

  13. Wow, just when I thought I was the only one who has a treasure chest filled with my husband’s love letters and greeting cards when we were just dating. Sadly, the love letters and the greeting cards stopped coming a few years after we were married. Reading your post reminded me that sweet little things like writing short notes for each other is important as it will strengthen the marriage and would help keep the romance going. 

    Your post also reminded me to be grateful for each day that I wake up, healthy and strong. It’s indeed a blessing to be able to see another day. Letting the people we love and care about know how much they mean to us is something we must do everyday because we’ll never know what will happen tomorrow.

    Thank you for a wonderful post.

    • Hi Alice, Why don’t you write a love letter to your husband and put it somewhere he will find it. It will remind him just how much he means to you.

      Even though Matthew does not know who I am anymore, I am still able to read the beautiful poem he wrote for me for my 50th birthday. It is so special.

      Thank you so much for reading my post and the lovely comments.

      All the best,

      Jill

  14. This is a brilliant post! I love the idea of the love notes because to me that is the little touch that is easy to overlook after years together. I think we are all guilty of taking our blessing for granted at some point in time. It is great to read a post like this and be reminded of how fleeting our lives are.

    We spend so much time on things which are unimportant while neglecting those things that are. I have yet to hear anyone on their death bed say “I regret spending so much time with my family”. I think that it is important to remember how important each moment is and that it is a gift you may only enjoy once before it is gone.

    The sense you have mentioned are truly wonderful tools that when used properly allow us to connect with each other n a truly meaningful and necessary way. People need other people or we literally lose our minds which just goes to show the importance of relationships and the value in maintaining them to the best of our abilities.

    Thank you for this eye opening post!

    • Hi Renton, It was a great pleasure sharing this and thank you for reading it and the lovely comments you made. It is really easy to begin to take one another for granted, especially when one has been married for as long and Matthew and I.

      Sadly he does not know me any more.

      All the best, Jill

  15. I’m sew inspired!  Love it.I remember a time that My common law husband and I used to leave each other love notes.We also left apology notes to each other when things were not going so well.  

    All five senses as you pointed out are so very important, sometimes we forget that it is the simplest things that we do that can mean so very much to someone else.  Just taking the time to listen to someone is very important, but we tend to take things for granted, always in a hurry with something more important to do that we forget what is really important is a real connection to other people.  The more that we listen to our senses and connect with other people the more we grow as a person.

    • Hello Shy, Thank you so much for reading my post and the lovely comments. Sometimes it is better to get things down in writing, especially if there is an argument brewing. It gives one time to think clearly.

      All the best,

      Jill

  16. Hi there Jill!

    This is a good article as you are a good writer and story teller. I felt you as I went thru your article.

    The love and care you got from your family and husband which are being kept in your heart and in that treasure chest is so apparent in this article.

    I can relate to your husband and your love story as I love making poem as well and used to send these to my then girl friend who is now my wife and she also kept these all in her treasure chest which she happens to open and share to me once in a while.

    Meantime, part of your article reminds me of my mother who has been away from me for quite sometime now and am missing her so much.

    What a touching article and thank you so much for this really.

    Be safe always!

    -julius

    • Hi Julius, Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post about the lovely work my husband did while he was still able. They will always be treasures to me and the family.

      It is lovely to hear that you also write poetry to your wife. May you always be blessed and happy.

      Kind regards,

      Jill

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