THE ART OF CHOOSING

CHOICE AND CONSEQUENCE – LEARNING THE ART OF CHOOSING

The choices you make in life can be “just the ticket”, as my dear late mother would say, or making a bad choice could ruin your life forever, (if you allow it to).

It is just a matter of learning #theartofchoosing, and moving on if you have made an unfortunate choice.

THE ART OF CHOOSING is definitely an art, and you may think it is your duty to decide what is in the best interest of you, and your loved ones, so think long and hard before making decisions that could harm them in the long run.

If your loved ones are your children, they will get to the stage in life where the things you might choose for them will definitely not be their choice. I may tell you this stage in their life can begin at a very early age.

There was no way in the world my daughter would wear anything pink, and she decided this for herself when she was about three years of age.

To avoid dissension in the house, and a lot of screaming, I found it best for her to choose her own outfits to wear. They were sometimes really odd but they made her happy

ART OF CHOOSING COMES WITH RESPONSIBILITY – CHOICE AND CONSEQUENCE GO HAND IN HAND

What a daunting thing this is, especially as we were taught not to argue with our elders. Mum had very definite ideas about everything, and it was a challenge for me when I left home to actually think for myself.  There was no way I could argue with my mother without there being dire consequences.

It had been so much easier taking the path of the least resistance in my youth.

Leaving school at the age of 16 was my choice, and a bad one at that, even though it was a financial necessity.

When my sister Gaye, left to go nursing at Grey’s Hospital in Pietermaritzburg, I promptly went out and got myself a job.

Well, that was a laugh. I applied at the local Post Office to become a telephonist. When I went for the interview with the Post Master he asked me, in Afrikaans, who is the Prime Minister. In Afrikaans the name for Prime Minister is “Eerste Minister”, and in my ignorance of Afrikaans, having been schooled mostly in Zimbabwe, I took that to mean the first minister and I gave the name of the Dutch Reformed minister at the time.

How I got the job I will never know. They must have been desperate.

Upon my return home after being told I was hired, I broke the news to my parents. Knowing my amazing capability in speaking Afrikaans, once they got over the shock, they were highly amused.

I really thought this would be a stepping stone to learning to speak Afrikaans, and I did to a certain extent.

THE ART OF CHOOSING – I CHOSE TO LEAVE THE NEST

When I left home to live in Pietermaritzburg, at the grand old age of 17, my belief that I was now a grown-up, felt that I had learned the Art of Choosing, and could stand on my own two feet was shattered when I realized all the decisions I would have to make for myself.

Fortunately, I had Gaye there, and what a fantastic time we had together. Although she was living in the nurse’s home and me in the YWCA. We spent as much time as we could enjoy our youthful pursuits.

One of the lessons I learned very early on was not to open any accounts, as tempting as this is, they have to be paid.

The story that the best way to deal with accounts is to throw them up in the air, and only pay the ones that stay up, if just not true.

Not that I tried it.

Working for a bank in Pietermaritzburg taught me a lot about managing my money matters, and that money matters a lot.

 

THE ART OF CHOOSING A CAREER – CHOICES FOR WOMEN WERE SCARCE IN THOSE DAYS

When I was young we were not as career-conscious as the young of today are. If there was no possibility of going to university, or no encouragement to do so, then you looked for a job.

There were many more possibilities for work in a city than in the little village I lived in. Hence, the move, and the opportunity of a job at the bank.

Something I learned very early on, is that I was not cut out to work for a boss, especially when his actions did not warrant respect.

One morning I was summoned to the boss’ office to find him looking through files.

He kept me standing there beside his desk. And as he finished with each file, he threw it down onto the floor.

When he was quite done, he said, “Pick them up, Miss Bennie.”

I was furious and told him, he had thrown them down, he could jolly well pick them up himself, and stalked out of his office.

No, I did not get fired, and he never tried that with me again.

Somehow, I had earned some respect from him, and we managed to get along for the years I worked there.

It became more and more obvious to me that I was a much better solo entrepreneur. So I began my more stimulating journey in various sewing and artistic pursuits.

They began as pass-time pursuits, making money on the side, while still holding down a full-time job.

THE ART OF CHOOSING TO TURN HOBBIES BUSINESS VENTURES

There is so much truth in the belief if you want to be happy working, work wherever you like and at something you love.

My only caveat was the feeling that whenever I sold one of my paintings, it felt as though I was losing a bit of my soul.

All my other business ventures were exciting and rewarding, and when it came to making specialized medical garments, many times heart and gut-wrenching but I saw it as being of service to the community.

One of my most enjoyable, and I must say, challenging as well, is the business learning the art of online business with Wealthy Affiliate.

It would not be so challenging if I had ever done a computer course, as now everything is new to me. When I actually achieve something or receive a great comment from one of my peers, it is such a boost to my confidence. The community is so caring and helpful at Wealthy Affiliate.

Although the past few years have not been the easiest for me personally, having a husband in frail care who does not always recognize me, is very difficult.

I can honestly say that I have not laughed so much in years, and that is due to the often amazingly funny topics people write about in the most comical way.

If it were up to me, and I know it isn’t, because everyone has a choice, I would advise –

• anyone who has no job,
• is bored,
• needs a laugh,
• wants a challenge,
• is looking to earn and learn at the same time
• who loves writing, or storytelling
• to join Wealthy Affiliate.

THE ART OF CHOOSING WELL WHEN IT INVOLVES DIET AND RELAXATION.

We are spoiled for choice when it comes to what we eat.

Unfortunately, this has resulted in many becoming hooked on the sweeter things in life.

Many sweeteners are added to most of the food we buy. How many of us bother to read the ingredients to check how much sugary substance is added, before purchasing the products?

There is a regular debate about whether to eat sugar, butter, full-fat low-fat, or no-fat, which makes it more and more confusing to the consumer.

One diet says no meat (vegan), another says to cut out carbohydrates (Banting), eat a Mediterranean diet, and on and on it goes.

What to choose???

Is it any wonder that obesity is such an enormous (excuse the pun) problem in many countries?

The importance of taking care of our physical and emotional well-being is so important.

Friends and I find going on a Spa day does the trick.

Usually, the food is excellent and nourishing.

It is wonderful returning home after being pampered, knowing that getting back into work mode is made much easier after enjoying a relaxing day with family and friends.

THE ART OF CHOOSING AND IMPORTANCE OF CHOOSING A PET (PETS?)

Oh my, this is the cause of many an argument in households all over. There are lovers of dogs, cats, fish, birds, or those not interested in having any pets,

Pets bring so much joy and pleasure to those who love them. They teach children empathy, which is crucial in a well-balanced individual.

Our family, as a whole, is passionate about animals.

Perhaps not all quite as much as my dear brother Myles, and his wife Daphne, they have six dogs (mostly rescue), two cats, chickens, a tank full of fish, and wild troops of monkeys which bound across the roof. From time to time, they come inside to help themselves to whatever they can find.

These animals are truly loved, very well cared for, and rule the roost. (The monkeys are tolerated.)

Now, this may not suit everyone, but to have these pets is their choice.

It was a great experience spending time with their family earlier this year.

To have a huge dog sleep on one side of me and a cat on the other was different from sleeping alone. Very comforting actually.

We were spoiled with fresh eggs every morning for breakfast. The hens are such good layers so there was plenty to give away, and even to sell.

We all find our happy places, and Mitzi, my little dachshund chose her most comfortable place in which to settle down.

Obviously, the grass was not good enough for madam. Major’s back was much more to her liking.

STONEY – THE CHOSEN ONE

When I was asked by a colleague if I wanted a dog as she and her husband were parting company, and they needed two dogs to be homed. The one being a spaniel and the other a German Shepherd.

Little did I know how large the German Shepherd, Stoney was until the vehicle arrived, and when I saw the size of the dog I felt a little intimidated. It is so different bringing up a dog from puppyhood.

Anyway, I said if he and my little dachshund got along, chose to keep him.

It was a match made in heaven. They loved each other from the very beginning and as for taking Stoney for training, well that was for me to be trained, not him.

He knew all the tricks of the trade. When we played ball and the ball got full of sand and saliva, he would promptly take it to his water bowl and wash it off before returning the sopping wet ball to me so that we could continue the game.

What a wonderful choice I made when I chose to take in this beautiful creature. My vet said he was so big he must have been crossed with a donkey.

There are some dogs who just crawl right into your heart, however big they might be.

 

THE ART OF CHOOSING WHAT SPORT, OR EXERCISE TO DO

My grandson, George, played hockey at school and really enjoyed it.

After going to the ice rink with his Auntie Lauren which he enjoyed so much, despite a few falls and clutching the surrounding barrier, he decided he would go back as often as he could.

This was just before his 13th birthday. It was something new and exciting to do.

Then he was introduced to ice hockey and that was that. He was totally hooked.

THE ART OF CHOOSING and becoming a part of the ice hockey team was a huge commitment on his behalf, and on behalf of his loving parents who had to get him to practice at 5.30 in the morning.

Then to play in matches at 6 in the evening.

He had found his passion and the sport which he wanted to pursue.

With the encouragement of his parents, and coach and loving what he was doing. It wasn’t long before he earned his Under 14 Western Province Colors.

His progress was swift from then on and soon he got his under-16 Western Province Colors as well. He was only 14.

He seems to have a natural ability for the sport.

Now, at the age of 14, he often plays with the under-21 team. We were all so proud of him when he scored three goals in the last game.

It really shows that one should follow a dream, and put in the effort to reap the rewards.

WHAT CHOICES HAVE YOU MADE?

Good or bad?

How have you coped with them?

Things that have been life-changing?

Are there choices you made and wished you could change?

I hope most of the choices you have made are really great ones, and that they have made you happy.